Comments for Equal Couples

Comment on Policy Makes a Difference by Joana Johnson

Joana Johnson — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 13:34:38 +0000

I realize I’ve gotten so bogged-down in thinking this could never happen in the US…this type of equality-policy. It’s still a far away dream to me. I used to think my daughters would enjoy more equal relationships…maybe. Keep up the good work.

Comment on Society Exaggerates Sex Differences by Tom Blume

Tom Blume — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 12:40:17 +0000

Unfortunately, the societal expectations get acted out in many ways. One of my doctoral students is studying men’s experiences during their partners’ miscarriages. Her informants report that they are ignored by hospital staff–not surprising when medical authors on miscarriage say that women need to talk about the experience, but men prefer to deny their feelings and just want to go play golf.

Comment on How Does US Rank on Women’s Equality? by Anne

Anne — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 15:02:46 +0000

You are so right Tom. It’s important to get information about these rankings out. I think lots of us just assume that the U.S. is close to the top in all these kinds of measures of well-being. Why shouldn’t we be? Good question! We need to start asking why we aren’t and what we can do.

Comment on How Does US Rank on Women’s Equality? by Tom Blume

Tom Blume — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 10:46:18 +0000

I’m grateful to you for sharing information about the Index–and sad to see where the U.S. is ranked. What is especially sad is the degree of public acceptance, even support, for men (and women) who openly seek to resist progress and push back against the minimal advancements that have been made.

Comment on Work and Family Balance for Men? by facebook chips

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Comment on Guest Blog by Kirstee Williams: Surprising Lessons about Gender, Vulnerability and Equality by Tom Blume

Tom Blume — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 01:19:31 +0000

Thank you, Kirstee, in gender as in other kinds of difference, the answer is not to say “let’s treat everyone the same.”

Comment on Equality as Resistance by Anne

Anne — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 21:46:34 +0000

Carmen I think you have really captured what we are talking about in this post! It really gets at the issue. We need to develop awareness of all those small actions which add up to inequality between partners and start resisting them one by one. The more we see to resist, the more aware we become of how pervasive these actions still are in our culture and in our relationships, and the more we can resist.

Comment on Loving Equally Shared Parenting: It’s not just the mothers by pharmacy tech

pharmacy tech — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 05:13:15 +0000

Keep posting stuff like this i really like it

Comment on New Generation Seeks Equality, but Sets Fall Back Plans by Amy

Amy — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 16:04:53 +0000

Thanks so much, Carmen! We think Kathleen Gerson’s book is a wonderful companion to ours. She describes so eloquently how young couples are dreaming of equality and balanced lives, while they see these as not personally possible. Hopefully we can then show these couples that these ARE practical and attainable! -Amy

Comment on Nature or Habit? Challenging Mars and Venus by carmen

carmen — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 16:54:20 +0000

Absolutely, Tom. That will be the focus of the rest of our work–we are trying to get him to see himself as a relational person who does relational things and to help her expect it is possible and see it to. Both currently consistently describe him–more than her, interestingly–as having a set nature (i.e., one who doesn’t notice others). One of my students commented on how framing things as a habit and directing their awareness to his relational strengths (that they previously did not recongize) caught them off guard. It took them a bit to respond. I think this is always true, creating a new gender story (the kind that makes equality possible) means interrupting taken-for-granted realities. One sign that is happening is when people can’t quickly respond with a pat answer.