Work and Family Balance for Men?
There is an interesting discussion over at the work life fit site in response to a post entitled “Jack Welch is Right” about whether it is possible for women in high level positions to have work/life balance. What is interesting from an equal couples perspective is that the same concerns are rarely raised about working men in high level positions. Why?
Is it that men can balance better than women? Is it that we take it for granted and think it is okay that men in high level positions don’t have or don’t want balance in their lives? Or is it that men’s struggles to balance work and family still remain invisible because we consider the family/work issue a woman’s problem? If we want to make real progress in the workplace we can’t afford to let work/family issues be only a woman’s problem! What can we do to break the barriers in this area for both women and men?
Check out the equally shared parenting blog for a recent post “Balance Is Not a Four Letter Word.” Some companies say they are trying to address these issues with their employees. Anyone have any experience with what works?
Posted by Anne
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July 28th, 2009 at 7:04 am
I could not agree more with your post. And I am heartened by the reactions in the blogosphere and in the comments sections of the WSJ articles by men. They are as almost as steamed about this as women are.
Thank you for your post.
July 28th, 2009 at 8:08 am
In some ways, Jack Welch is right, he just tailored it to the people who he classifies into a particular category. In reality, where we end up is a result of a series of life choices. At any decision point, we explicitly or implicitly make choices about what is most important.
While work-life issues are not just for women, women and men are not exactly the same in this area. The woman is the one who physically has to birth the child. Taking time away from the office for maternity leave may very well have a negative impact on one’s career. Because men don’t have to birth the child and few companies offer paid paternity leave, men don’t quite find themselves in the same position. However, if after birth men start making choices that puts family above career advancement, they aren’t going to find themselves with a corner office either.
Jack Welch made his choices too. He has been divorced 3 times, and so he has chosen his priorities. And as long as he is comfortable with the outcome of those decisions, who are we to say he was wrong.
And that’s the way the world generally operates. YOU have to decide where your priorities are and be willing to accept that there are consequences for your actions (both positive and negative). The goal is to get to a point in your life where you can look at where you are and say “I’m happy with where I am” not spending time thinking about “what could have been.” Making decisions where you explicitly bring your values into the mix increases your chance of getting to the “I’m happy with where I am” location.
I don’t think that it’s even necessarily about “equally shared parenting.” That assumes one approach to family life fits every family’s preferences and values. It’s about creating a personal/family system that works for you, so that you are an active participant in whichever aspects of your life (e.g., work, family, friends, recreational activities, exercise, religious) you value.
July 28th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
Leanne, Thanks for your reply. I’ve put your blog on our blogroll because couples who are trying to create a more equal relationship are often looking, as you were, for information about work flexibility. Anne
July 28th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
Matt, thanks so much for your comment. You make some excellent points. We’re definitely talking about choices here. But the need to make these choices between career and family is a real problem now that both men and women work outside the home and many men, as well as women, want to be fully engaged with their families. The workforce has dramatically changed and the organization of work has changed very little. American corporations have an amazing ability to solve problems. Little of this enormous creative capacity has been turned toward how to create work environments that fit with employee needs for flexibility and work/family balance. Other countries have done a better job of offering choices to workers than we have. Choice is important. I think that in order to achieve genuine choice we need to talk about structural and institutional changes at all levels in work environments. Anne
August 4th, 2009 at 10:31 am
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